The Pressure’s On
Your peer group is your circle of friends and acquaintances - people close to your own age with experiences and interests similar to yours. You and your friends deal with dozens of choices every day. Many decisions you face are relatively unimportant, such as what to have for lunch today. Others are positive and call on those in your peer group for ideas and input. Some of the situations and choices can also be negative and those take some preplanning so you don’t give in to the pressure!
If a friend is wearing a hideous green pantsuit, you’re going to help them immediately and tell them it is a bad choice. The same applies when they want to engage in some risky behaviour! The obvious items that come to mind are drinking alcohol, doing drugs, engaging in sexual activity or participating in crime, such as theft or tagging, but they don’t always have to be extreme. Just cutting an important class or going to the movies instead of studying for a test are also scenarios that may make you uncomfortable. If you know it’s a bad choice, you need to have the courage to say no and tell your friend they shouldn’t do it either!
In a group setting this can be more difficult, so there are some ways to avoid pressure situations or at least prepare to deal with them when you’re in them. Listen to your “inner voice” or gut instinct. If you are uncomfortable, then the situation is wrong for you even when friends are fine with it. Every person learns about himself or herself as they go through life and this is where your own sense of right and wrong will develop.
Plan for pressure situations. If you want to go to a party but think there may be alcohol pushed on you, plan ahead for it and practice what you can say. Take in a can of pop or bottle of water. If you’re holding a drink already, you may not be offered anything else. Or say something like, “No thanks, I’ve got a soccer tryout tomorrow and I need to be on my game.”
Prepare a bailout code with parents or friends. If you need to leave a bad situation, you can call and claim you have a bad headache or toothache. Or text to ask for a ride and tell your peers it is the other way around: your parents have a change in plans and have to come get you now.
Try to hang out with friends who have the same ideas as you do, so you can minimize tough situations. If you have friends who don’t want to smoke and drink, you don’t need to worry about those types of pressures.
You also want friends who will stand up for you or help you feel supported when you’re feeling low. Be sure to stand up for them the same way. Do not hesitate to find help for yourself or your friend if the situation is dangerous or life threatening, including calling the police!
When you resist negative peer pressure, feel good about it! And remember, you may even be a positive example for someone else!
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